From RealSource... Glenn's Blog

Ever hear another Realtor or a loan officer frequently express frustration about their clients, colleagues or employees making things hard?

Now, I know some clients are really just difficult people.  Hey, so are some of the so-called "professionals."  

But I am talking about the professionals that, for some reason, expect EVERYONE else to be equally knowledgeable, professional and efficient.  If anyone does not meet that standard, they get frustrated or even upset.

It would indeed make life great if everyone we worked with was educated, qualified, funded, logical and clear on their goals.  Or would it? 

Consider this... 

If the client is already educated, qualified, funded, logical and clear on their goals... what do they need you for?  A little efficiency?  That assumes you are more efficient.  You may not be.  If you cannot bring significantly more to the table than the client can bring on their own, why are you involved? 

What if all of the your staff was as good at your job as you... are you needed as their leader? 

If all of the other Realtors or loan officers you work with are as good at their job as you, how will you advance your career?  Then you would be just one of the pack and nothing special!

Do clients and collagues that need help take more effort?  Of course!  However, I believe contantly complaining about the effort required to assist them is not a good thing. 

In fact, when I hear someone who regularly complains about their clients, employees or colleagues, I usually suspect it is because the complainer is lazy (and may also have major self esteem issues).  I suspect they don't like the work needed to accomplish the task correctly.  Or they are hiding from the task of correcting the problem. They complain instead of embracing the opportunity.  And even if they are not lazy, they certainly don't sound professional.

Most people are generally smarter than we give them credit.  Sooner or later, they start to understand if you are leading,  following or being the real obstacle.  If you are not leading, they may say something or, more likely, they find a way to quietly distance themselves from you.

So next time you get frustrated or impatient with someone on a project and they clearly do not have your industry knowledge or experience, remember this: 

It is your golden opportunity to provide them true value.

That is where the money is to be made, where a great reputation is earned, where the referrals develop and the advancements start!

We don't see the world as it is... we see it as we are.

That means that our reality will differ from the reality experienced by everyone you deal with... clients, brokers, loan officers, agents, recruiters, family and even the paper boy (they still have those, right?).

I see so many people that automatically assume some things I find wrong, strange or just different.  And that can make a deal, a contract or a sale difficult.

Making this worse are the people that believe there the truths they see in the world... their perspective... is the only way the world exists.  So they bully, push, pull and shove to get you and everyone else to understand how they are right.

So what do you do about this?  Well, I would submit that considering the other perspectives is a first and critical step.  Then look for ways to agree and ways to ask questions about things from the other perspective, instead of your own.

Pushing back information on someone that "knows" they are right rarely works.  So don't.  Instead, try to see the world as they do, then work with them as best you can.  It does not mean you give in to them.  Just be more interested in helping someone than showing them how right you are today. 

For the most part, puppies and kittens are loved by all.  Even the gruff and the unpleasant usually melt a bit if you drop a young puppy or kitten in their lap.

While not as obvious, people love their ideas even more.  And like a mother dog or cat, they will defend these ideas from all that threaten them, regardless of how appropriate or inappropriate the threat is (or perceived to be).

It's not always logical and it is not always beneficial.  It is instinctive for most people.

So, why does this matter?  Two reasons.

First, your ideas may be great... but likely not all of them.  Allow some of them to fail or be defeated.  It will help the others bloom and blossom as you focus energy on the winners instead of defending them all.

Second, realize that when you do not embrace someone else's ideas, they may unconsciously see it as an attack.  Find ways to pull people along instead of pushing them.  Find something to like about their ideas even if you do not love them or intend to use them.  It will be appreciated if you are sincere.

This is very important in business negotiations, prospecting, selling and even cooperation with your clients, vendors and colleagues. 

So, show some love for someone else's ideas when you can.  (And don't pass up the chance to pet a puppy or kitten either!)

I'm doing a poll on one of our new blogs and need your opinion about communication and people that use big and obscure words.

http://blog.nerdtoenglish.com/poll

Should take less than a minute.

I'm curious about this since I often hear lenders and real estate agents use their "lingo" around clients that don't understand all the language.

Thanks!! Glenn

P.S. I'll post results in a few days.  I'm collecting data from several sources. 

Jennifer Allan's post, "Good for you, let me know if you need anything." led me to think of Real Estate as an industry and the story of the emperor's new clothes.  

While every industry has it's problems, I believe that the Real Estate industry has created some unique issues for itself that few wish to discuss openly.  And probably because those in a position of power to change it are the same ones that financially benefit by the dysfunction.

One of the suprises for me as I learned more about the details of the Real Estate business in the last few years was how many real estate brokers are primarily in the business of renting desks and collecting a "piece of the action."  Not all. But too many.

With all due respect, in some offices there are similarities to the mob.  You have to be party of "the family." The law says so. You've got no where else to go but another "family."  In time, you may can start your own "family."

And you are going to pay a piece of the action to the "family" on each deal, whether the "family" helps you out or not.  In fact, you usually have to "prove" yourself to the "family" before you get much help.  By then, if you survive, you may not need the help but that's cool.  The "family" won't have to make the effort then either.

Why do they not help much in the beginning? They want to know if you "got what it takes" before they show much interest in helping.  Survival of the fittest. 

And there are turf wars over neighborhoods and customers, not only with other "families" but those in your own "family" too. 

The old-school guys don't always see value of the young guns taking too much "action."  Sometimes "killing a few off" preserves turf.

We deal with many agents and brokers from a different vantage point than agents, brokers and customers.  It has been very revealing.  In more cases than not, we found brokers that not only did little training and support but even "charged" a fee in some quasi-hidden way for any third-parties to have access to their agents for any reason, including educational.

I want to be clear.  This is not all brokers.  There are some that have figured out that they can increase their income from "pretty good" to "very good" by investing in their team and growing a great team.  These people are a benefit to all those they interact with, including the public, their agents and even the economy.

But the majority we see don't bother building a real team because they make enough money with their own listings, buyers and renting desks to agents.  It's enough money so why work any harder. 

Attitudes are a reflection of leadership.  And the leadership that could change this is the very same group that most benefits from it.  Thus, they are not only incented to avoid change, they are incented to fight change. Thus, like George Orwell's Animal Farm, "All animals are created equal, but some animals are more equal than others."

Despite all this, there also remain Realtors surprised that the general public does not think highly of most the industry.  This surprise to me is how many agents that are that out of touch with solid business concepts and/or consider all of the public as "lesser intelligence." And this serves no one, not even the agents.

I'm not sure there is an action point to this post.  I don't see the model changing except to be gradually overwhelmed by a better informed public that will increasingly find ways around such dysfunction.  The smart business people in this industry already know this and are making plans to be a part of these changes, for their benefit and to benefit the customers.

For the most part, the current business model rarely serves the customer best.  However, history tells us bad business models and the market both self-correct over time.  Tick. Tock.