From RealSource... Glenn's Blog

"I'm Right and I'm Gonna PROVE It!"

I hear this frequently.  Perhaps not in those words, but I hear versions of this online, in blogs, and in person.  I believe it has become even more common as frustrated business people deal with frozen, fearful clients.

This is particularly common where potential clients are fearful due to bad national news that may not be applicable to that person's local market economy.  

"I'm afraid to buy a house right now because the national news said the market is so bad."

Then I hear business people in decent local markets talk about presenting facts about the local market, examples of why now is the time to buy, blah, blah, blah.  In other words, the response is,

"My clients do not understand the local market and I am going to beat them in to submission with facts and statistics."

If your potential customer is more influenced by national news than understanding the local market, then this is not an market-educated, logical client.  Using education and logic to make them "feel better" is the wrong tool.

In fact, I submit that using facts alone to battle fear is typically a losing battle.  Sorry.

Fear is not always a bad thing.  But many people would rather follow the herd than think for themselves. 

As a professional, your job is not to push facts alone but to truly HELP the client.  Present facts if you like but a focus on empathy and understanding will likely take you further in building a relationship as a trusted adviser.

For instance, a child scared of monsters in the closet at night can be presented with the fact that nothing is in the closet by a close inspection.  However, what typically makes the child feel better is reassurance that they are safe, that a parent or two is close by (and available) and that mom or dad will come back and check on them later. 

In other words, reinforcement they are safe and in a safe environment will often work better than continually visiting the closet with the lights on. 

Your potential clients are not much different.  Present facts if you like to support your position but display empathy, understanding and suggest new perspectives. 

For example, let's say you are a Realtor and your potential client says they cannot buy or sell because "the market is dead right now."  

Politely get permission to ask questions and ask if you should quit your profession and cancel the deals you have in progress.  Ask if you should tell your current clients to stop buying and selling because the national news said the market was awful.  And don't be sarcastic... ask as if you really want their advise.  Get them to look at the market from someone's eyes besides their own, their scared friends and the national media.  See if they can explain why you have business when the TV says the market is awful.  Don't tell them this.... ASK THEM!

What I don't get are the so-called professionals that keep using the same approach to overcoming fear time after time, then continuing to complain that the clients won't listen to them.  While some clients won't be able to let go of fear in trying times, some will... if you are truly considered a trusted adviser. 

But doing the same process over and over and complaining it does not work is crazy.  If the horse is dead, dismount.

Building relationship of value and trust is more than presenting facts.  It is also about inspiring trust and confidence.  This can be done with empathy, understanding and perspective.

If I had to describe in one word what the difference is between deals and projects that have gone well and those that did not go as well as we would like, that word would be "expectations."

Typically, projects that we come behind to clean-up or even just assess suffer greatly from unmet expectations.  In many cases, each party involved had different expectations at the start and the difference often grows over time.

When you have clients, staff and even management that is not an expert on the details of the deal or project, they often assume things that no one else involved has any idea about.  And when these "hidden assumptions" don't come to pass, people become disappointed and upset. 

The fact that no one else involved had any idea is irrelevant.  It has become an emotional let-down and then an emotional challenge to the success of the project.

For example...

A prospective first-time home buyer assumes that all window treatments will remain with the house but has not asked. It is not noted in the contract.  On the closing day walk-through, the window treatments are gone and they are upset. Everyone else is surprised and thinks the buyer is just being difficult.

Or..

A woman hires the same movers she used a year ago.  The movers work by the hour.  The weather is very bad.  The woman complains they are taking longer than the prior year.  Then she is upset the total price is higher than the year before when the moving company had a special deal.  The woman had just assumed the price was the same and had not verified it.  The moving company had quoted a per-hour price but not a new estimated full price. 

She feels ripped off and the moving company feels they did extra work in bad weather to care for her property at the standard rate.   All started with assumptions and thus different expectations.  In the end no one is happy.

Granted there are some people that will not adjust their expectations no matter how well and often you communicate.  They either won't listen or are simply used to getting their way through a variety of means and actions.  However, if you are paying attention early and communicating clearly, you can often spot these people before your deal is too involved and avoid them.  Let your competition have these clients.

So what is the take away from this?  Don't assume.  Set expectations early and explicitly.  Keep everyone informed of what you expect and ask what they are expecting.  When there is a problem or even just a problem with expectations, address it before it grows.  Communicate to succeed, not to hide problems. 

Expectations are critical.  Clear, explicit communications are the key to keeping the expectations of all in balance.

Ever hear another professional express frustration about their clients making the process challenging?

Now, I know some clients are really just difficult people.  Hey, so are some of us so called "professionals."  

But what I am talking about are the professionals that, for some reason, expect the clients to be equally knowledgeable, professional and versed.  

It would indeed make life great if all clients came educated, qualified, funded, logical and clear on their goals.  Or would it be great? 

Consider this.  If the client is already educated, qualified, funded, logical and clear on their goals... what do they need you for?  A little efficiency?  That assumes you are even more efficient than they are.  You may not be.  If you cannot bring significantly more to the table than the client can bring on their own, why are you involved?  For a commission you "deserve" for tagging along on the deal?

Do clients that need help take more effort?  Of course!  However, I believe complaining about the effort required for clients is not a good thing. 

In fact, when I hear someone who complains about all or most of their clients, I usually suspect it is because the complainer is lazy.  I suspect they don't like the work needed to accomplish the task correctly for the client.  So they complain instead of embracing the opportunity.  And even if they are not lazy, they certainly don't sound professional.

People are generally smarter than we give them credit.  Sooner or later, they start to understand if you are leading or following through the process (whether they say anything or just abandon you).

So next time you get frustrated or impatient with a client (or potential client) that is trying to work with you but clearly does not have you industry knowledge or experience, remember this: 

It is your golden opportunity to provide true value.

That is where the money is to be made, where the reputation is earned, where the referrals develop.

They wouldn't stop, demanding more.  They seemed to think that I had more to give.  Retrospectively, it was clear they had done this to many others.  

Maybe they were desperate, maybe they were afraid, maybe they were just bored.

It started normal enough.  A great discussion on the phone, a planned meeting to discuss moving the deal forward.  I thought they were real customers.  They seemed interested enough and said many of the "right" things.

We met and talked.  They seemed professional and sincere.  But as the discussion moved forward, it eventually became apparent this was not what it appeared... at least not what I had presumed. 

In the end, they robbed me of my time.  They questioned my experience.  They distrusted my advice.  They beat up my suggestions.  And worst of all, it became clear they had no intention of being a customer of mine... or anyone.  Then they fled.  Thankfully!

Now I am left to reflect and hopefully learn.  The challenge for me is to learn without creating stereotypes or false absolutes for future prospects. 

The next client may look and act the same... and be for real.  I shall hope to not make a false assumption based on the past.  For there are deals to be made, clients to help and money to be made.

Absolutes.

I see them talked about and written about in print and online all the time.  BOLD, PROUD, DECLARATIONS...

"I NEVER give out business cards."

"I ALWAYS give out business cards to everyone I meet.

"I ALWAYS require a loan pre-qualification letter before showing a house.  No reason to waste time otherwise."

"I NEVER require a loan pre-qualification letter."

"If a buyer won't meet me at my office first, then it is clear they are NEVER serious about buying."

"You NEVER listen to me."

"You ALWAYS leave the lid up."

You get the idea. 

Now, here is what I find interesting about this type of thinking (side note... it does not mean I am right, just what I think is interesting):

1) When it is someone talking about themselves, they often (notice I did not say always) appear to be trying to force structure on things that are, honestly, not naturally that structured.  

2) When talking about others, the absolute is rarely accurate.  "ALWAYS" and"NEVER" are rarely used correctly.  They are accurate words, just often misused and for exaggerations that may not really be useful to the context.

3) The speaker often ignores that while some people will conform to their forced structure or declarations, many people will flee this behaviour (and do so quickly).  In business, there are some people we prefer flee.  But are you sure the ones fleeing you are the right ones?

4) Being "right" appears to be very important in the discussion.  Even more important than being helpful, successful or, in extreme case, polite. 

Naturally, there are absolutes that are critical in life and business.  For instance, I suggest we all ALWAYS treat others as we would like to be treated. 

At the same time, I am working very hard to be sure that I understand that sales and communication and business rules are best considered guidelines that we use and apply as appropriate to all of the others we interact with each day.  Not a set of rules that can never be flexed.  I hope I do this well more days than not.

The business world is very dynamic.  People are very dynamic.  Be sure your approach to both has structure but remains dynamic enough to be the best it can be.  Absolutely.